Weasley Theories: Ron Weasley
by Fidelian
Summary: PREQUEL TO WEASLEY THEORIES: GINNY WEASLEY. Ron wants Hermione. The twins knows how to get her. Ron's POV. COMPLETE!
1. Introducing the Theories

**A/N: **Here it is, the story I never thought I'd write. It's a sequel to _Weasley Theories, _which has now been changed to _Weasley Theories: Ginny Weasley. _I hope you enjoy this one just as much as you did that one! This story takes place before _WT: Ginny Weasley _and is from Ron's POV. I have written almost half of the story already, so I will update when I think I've gotten enough reviews. Haha, evil, I know. Enjoy, and remember to leave a review!

XXXXXXXXXX

**Chapter one: Introducing the Theories**

XXXXXXXXXX

I woke up one morning with a peculiar feeling. Something huge was happening that day, I knew it, but what? Just as I pondered this, my mother's voice floated up the stairs.

"Ronald! You better be awake by now, or I'll have Fred and George come fetch you! And that's a threat!"

I felt a small twinge of fear even though he knew Fred and George were at their own flat in London. Being woken up by them was _not _a pleasurable business, and I had learnt that the hard way, mind you.

"I'm up, mum!" I shouted and drew a hand through my uncontrollable mess of red hair, getting out of bed and walking to the closet.

What was it that was going to happen today? My sleep-addled brain worked furiously as I put on a pair of old jeans and a washed out T-shirt that had once belonged to Charlie – I could tell because of the fire-breathing miniature dragons on it – but I could not grasp what I obviously had forgotten.

"RONALD! I _will _send for Fred and George!"

I groaned. "What's the ruddy hurry, mum?" I then shouted through the closed door.

"Well, I want you and Ginny to clear out your rooms before Harry and Hermione gets here, of course!" came the answer.

I froze. Hermione was coming. How could I have forgotten?

"_Shit_!" I swore loudly, but thankfully not loud enough for my mother to hear me. I strode to the mirror and looked at my reflection. Why did my hair have to be so bloody wild? I looked like some sort of mushroom. As the mirror started cackling, I understood that I had said this aloud.

"But a very handsome mushroom, dear," it rasped.

"Well – thanks," I mumbled. I couldn't wear this when Hermione arrived!

"No, I agree with you, boy," the mirror said. "You really should change into a nice shirt or something of the sort."

I really need to stop saying everything on my mind.

"I wasn't talking to you," I snapped impatiently. "And I will _not _wear a bloody shirt!"

"Your mistake," said the mirror nonchalantly.

"Everything seems to be," I muttered while rummaging through my closet for a good T-shirt. "I _hate_ bloody maroon!

XXXXXXXXXX

Mum's threat of getting Fred and George on my back was not as empty as it should have been.

"There's our dear Ronnie!"

I groaned. Nothing could make me as frustrated as Fred and George. Except perhaps Hermione in a skirt, but that's a whole other kind of frustrated.

As I turned around and was met with two identical grins, I put my back against the wall.

"Please have mercy on me," I pleaded. "I can't deal with your mishaps today."

The twins both mock-gasped and looked at each other.

"You would think he doesn't want us here!" Fred said. Or perhaps George. I didn't have the strength to find that out.

"You should!" I muttered, but they ignored me completely, of course. Why would they ever listen to me? It's against their nature, I'm sure.

"Let's take a walk," one of them – I don't bloody care who – said.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked, perhaps a bit too hopefully to not be concerned about me.

"Not today," the other one said. "Let's go to our room."

I laughed a little. "Your _old _room, you mean. It's full of cardboard boxes now."

"But of course, little brother, in the boxes are our first inventions."

I gasped. "Do you _want_ this house to explode?"

But they both just laughed and led me towards the burned and scratched door that led to their old headquarters.

As they pushed me down to sit on one of their beds, I fought the urge to shout for mum to save me. I was sure this conversation would be terrifying, embarrassing or both. They usually were.

"So," said Fred – my fear had woken me up a bit, and I now knew who was who – and smirked evilly at me. "We have something most important to teach you."

"Is this about the cart wheeling down the stairs? Because I know you're just trying to kill me with that fib."

"No, no," said George, "this is something of a Weasley secret –"

"- which has been going from generation –" continued Fred.

"- to generation the last 200 years!" said George.

"And now you're gonna tell me, are you?" I was unbelievably unimpressed. "Don't you think I know this is some plan you two have… _planned_?"

They both fell silent, probably in shock of my poor vocabulary.

"Now," I continued, "if that's all, I really need to clear out my room before Harry and Hermione get here, or mum will flay me ali –"

"Ah!" said Fred and George together.

"There it is," Fred leered.

"Hermione," George leered identically.

I sighed and leaned down on my elbows. "What about her?"

"You fancy her –"

"- admire her –"

"- looove her –"

"- wants to f–"

"Hey!" I shouted.

"Yeah, yeah," Fred waved a hand dismissively, "wants to make sweet gentle love to her, then."

I knew I was incredibly red in the face. "I do not! Stop bullying me, you great… _bullies_!"

They both fell silent once again. George put a hand on my shoulder.

"Mate," he said, "you _really _need to learn some new words."

I shrugged his hand off and glared at them both. "Is there a point to all this?"

The twins straightened up. "There sure is!"

"What, then?"

They both puffed their chests out and chorused, "_The Weasley Theories_!"

When that didn't get the reaction they wanted from me, they sagged again.

"What the bloody hell are the Weasley Theories?"

"Oh, my friend, shortly they will be the only thing you've ever known."

Fred clapped a hand on Georges shoulder and grinned at me.

"They will change that pathetic excuse for a life of yours, and finally get you the woman of your dreams!"

I didn't know whether to laugh at them or run to mum screaming like a girl. I decided to stay a little while longer.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, Fred. Tell me what the Weasley Theories are, and then let me be alone, alright?"

"What a party pooper," Fred chuckled. "Alright, we'll tell you."

Ron looked at them expectantly. Fred frowned.

"Exactly _how _are we gonna explain them, dear twin?"

George was frowning just as deeply as his twin brother. "Why, I don't know."

"Come on!" Ron hissed. "Harry and Hermione will be here in less than an hour!"

"Well, the Theories are quite simply… _Theories_!"

"That makes sense," Ron muttered.

"When you're a Weasley," Fred began, "you have certain personality traits. Such as." He gestured towards George.

"Fear of heights, bad sense of balance, no cooking abilities –"

"Wait a minute, what does this have to do with my life getting better in any way?" I was thoroughly confused.

"That, my dear Ronnie, you have to find out on your own," George grinned at me.

"Just keep your eyes open, and you'll get your girl."

I looked from one twin to the other. "Who told you about this?"

"Charlie," said Fred. "And Bill told him."

"Good luck, Ronniekins!"

And with two loud _crack_s, they were gone.


	2. Never lie on an empty stomach

XXXXXXXXXX

**Chapter two: Never lie on an empty stomach**

XXXXXXXXXX

I was feeling very nervous as green flames erupted in the fireplace and a beautiful girl stepped out.

"I _hate _Flooing!" she sighed and started wiping soot off of her travelling cloak.

"I didn't know that," I grinned. She looked up and gave me a surprised smile.

"Ron!" she shrieked and ran at me, embracing me fiercely. I couldn't help enjoying the hug, since I so rarely got one from her.

She smelt like orchids, soot and something that was just Hermione. Probably books. "It's really good to see you."

"You too," she said, her voice muffled against my chest.

The fireplace turned green once again, and another person stepped out. My best mate. "Hey Harry!"

Hermione let go of me and stood next to me instead. "That took a while," she said. "Did something go wrong at the _Three Broomsticks_?"

Harry clapped the soot of his knees. "Nah, I just got caught up. Bloody Tom wanted my autograph."

I grinned at him. "You loved it."

"Every second."

I walked up to him and embraced him warmly. It wasn't every day I got to hug my best mate, better make way with the few times I could. It felt really good to see him so healthy.

"I bloody missed you," he said, clapping my back.

"Me too, you prat," I laughed.

Hermione stood next to us. "Don't swear." But I saw that her eyes were misty. Harry and I abruptly let go of each other, coughing and mumbling manly.

Hermione snorted at us. "Where's Ginny?"

"Up in her room, I think."

She smiled at me and left the living room. I watched her leave, smiling slightly. Harry walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Ron, you're drooling."

"I know," I sighed.

XXXXXXXXXX

The next couple of days are somewhat of a blur. I remember being surprised with all the new things I noticed about Hermione. She really is extraordinary.

I know what you're saying. Is he really kidding himself that he doesn't fancy her?

Well, I'm not. I knew that I fancied her, and I had known for a long time. But it's not exactly as if I had much experience with this sort of thing, is it? I mean, what was I supposed to do? Jump her and probably scare the living cra-… daylight out of her.

I didn't know what to do. So I decided to give the Theories a shot. After all, what did I have to lose?

As I had decided to go through with it, I was surprised when I suddenly found myself in an incredibly embarrassing conversation with Hermione.

We were sitting in the kitchen late one night, everyone else had gone off to bed except the two of us, and I felt like this was my chance to get at least _one_ bloody Theory done before bedtime.

"And I know the NEWTs will probably be a real fright, but if we just band together, I know –"

"Hermione," I interrupted her school-related rambling about tests we wouldn't be taking for a year and a half. She looked startled that I was still in the room.

"Yes?"

I swallowed. "What do you think is my best personality trait?"

"What?" She looked surprised at the blunt question and I felt like jumping out a window. Why did I have to do ask her?

I blushed deeply when she just stared at me. "I just… wanted to know…" I mumbled, feeling my ears burning. Damn ears. The worst thing about being a Weasley is probably the ears. Or the poorness. Nah, the ears are worse.

"Well, I'll have to think about it for a second."

I nodded. Merlin. Why am I doing this to myself? Looking back, I can't believe that I didn't faint. Maybe I _did _faint for a second, but couldn't remember it afterwards. I certainly blacked out in any case. That's how pathetic I was.

The silence stretched over a minute. I was beginning to get angry. Couldn't she name _one _good thing about me?

"If it's too hard for you, we can just forget about it," I barked, crossing my arms over my chest. She looked perplexed.

"Well, excuse me if I can't think up a perfect answer to such a willy-nilly question!"

I wanted to kiss her just for using the phrase 'willy-nilly' seriously, but I didn't. _That's _evidence of my strong resolve.

"Hermione, I really think that you should be able to say something good about your bloody _best mate_ without having to ponder it for an hour!"

She gasped. "I wasn't even quiet for a minute! You can't just sneak up on me with such an inquiry when I'm talking about education, you know that!"

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm looking for a nice word from my best friend," I said coolly. "Good night."

I sighed as I threw myself onto my bed, not caring about changing into pyjamas or climbing under the covers. Then I hit my poor pillow a few times - not that I did it any serious harm since my arms are like tooth picks - just out of frustration.

This wasn't a good beginning.

XXXXXXXXXX

The following morning could be described with one single word – torture. Hermione was ignoring me so well that I to this day don't really know if she noticed me in the room. I haven't asked.

So yeah, it was coldness. Both Harry and Ginny picked up on it and stayed clearly out of harm's way - but I knew they kept a close watch on us, just in case one of us would 'accidentally' slip some rat poison into the other's juice.

I didn't understand why Hermionewas so furious; _I _was the one who were supposed to be angry with _her._ She couldn't even recall one good thing about me, her bloody best friend. I am fully aware that I don't have many good sides or any nice manners at all, but still! She's one of my best mates, for Merlin's sake!

As I was about to storm out of the kitchen in a most dramatic manner, I managed to stumble and fall, hitting my toe viciously against a chair. I started using some _really _foul swearing words, and Hermione didn't even reprimand me!

This was when I realized that, in some odd and twisted way, _I_ would have to be the one to apologize if I ever was to borrow her History of Magic notes again.

_Women._

I decided on taking the calm and regretful approach, and started to walk to her as she arranged the dishes. In the corner of my eye, I could see Harry and Ginny looking terrified and quietly leaving the tension-filled kitchen. I took a deep breath to assemble a bit of courage.

"Eh, Hermione?" My voice broke awkwardly, so I coughed a bit into my fist. "Hermione?" I repeated in my usual deeper tone.

She sighed and whipped around to face me. "Yes?"

"I'm… I'm…" I looked down at my old trainers. Suddenly, anger overcame me. "This is bloody ridiculous!"

"What?"

"_You_!" I almost shouted. Hermione's eyes widened dangerously and she took a step towards me.

"_Me_?" she hissed. "_You're _the one who completely overreacted!"

I mumbled something even I myself couldn't decipher. Hermione sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter in a _very _attractive manner. I swallowed and tried to look at her eyes and not… anything else.

"I'm so tired of this," she said suddenly, looking down at the floor.

"Me too," I muttered quietly, even though I usually enjoyed rowing with her. She looked up with a face that made me think that she didn't mean the rowing. My mind began to spin. I drew a sharp intake of breath as she tenderly put a hand on my cheek.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly, and I noticed her cheeks going a bit pink. That was really unfair; I get red as a tomato anytime I feel embarrassed; she just gets a cute little rosy tinge. What was I thinking about? I couldn't tell her the truth; that I wanted to press her against the counter and snog her senseless until one of us pass out for lack of oxygen. So I said the first thing I could come up with.

"Er, food."

Hermione sighed and took away her hand. "You want more breakfast?" she asked, and did she look a bit disappointed? Nah, it was probably only my imagination. You should never get your hopes up, you'll just be more crushed when the truth is eventually revealed.

So I answered, "Sure," surprised that I felt out of breath, like I had just run a mile or two.

She smiled and began searching for some toast in the cupboards.

"So," I said carefully. She turned to me with a… was that an _expectant _expression? Nah, probably that darned imagination of mine again. I shook my head slightly. "Er, are we… you know, _okay_?"

Hermione looked at me silently for a second, and then she smiled, nodded and turned to the cupboard once again. I didn't know why, but I felt somewhat disappointed.

To sum everything up, my first Theory could've gone better, but it could also have gone much worse. And bravo to me for succeeding in not making Hermione understand that I fancy her! That's more than I hoped for, let me say. But still, today's Theory isn't very impressive.

This is the conclusion I made today: _I'm terrible at lying._

I mean, food? Come on!

XXXXXXXXXX

**A/N: **Thank you so much for taking the time to review this story! It really makes my day brighter.


	3. Literally going nuts

-----

_Chapter 3: Literally going nuts_

-----

Hello there. My name is Ron Weasley and I'm an idiot. And apparently allergic. Now you're thinking; huh, that's pretty damn unexpected. Yes, I agree, it is. And now you're thinking; why is this poor bloke talking to people he can't even see?

Well, it's a good question.

Let me tell you what happened to me today.

It all started this morning. Ever since I royally messed things up with a certain bushy haired bookworm – who I am currently quite infatuated with, by the way – by looking deep into her eyes and then out of the blue bringing up the exciting subject of food. Yes, it was embarrassing, especially since I almost kissed her. And I _really_ don't want her to send my sadistic little sister after me with her infamous Bat Bogey Hex.

Anyways, we were having breakfast alone this morning. Harry and Ginny had apparently gone up early to play some quidditch, leaving me with a cold Hermione Granger and a oatmeal which she called "Super Special" and I called "Rat Poison". Not to her face, mind you. I rather like my privates where they are, thanks.

"Er, could you pass the sugar?" I asked carefully as she attacked her plate viciously.

Her head snapped up. "Why, you don't like my Super Special Oatmeal the way it is?"

My mind was screaming at me to tell her that I simply _loved_ the dreadful death weapon she called oatmeal. So I did. "Of course not, I simply _love_ it." I laughed nervously. Then I added, "Just as it is," for good measure.

She just glared at me and continued her relentless killing of the oatmeal. Bloody hell, that girl left no survivors whatsoever.

I decided to taste the oatmeal. And even though I felt like I should have at least said my fare wells to my family, I quickly grabbed my spoon and shoved it quickly in my mouth. And felt my air pipe closing in. Bloody great. See what happens when you listen to a woman's every word? You die. It's as simple as that.

When she noticed my panicked wheezing, Hermione shrieked and ran around the table.

"Oh God, what's happening, Ron?" she shouted at my purple face. "Are you okay?"

I stopped my coughing and heaving to look at her with an eyebrow firmly raised.

"Of course you're not!" she exclaimed. "Oh God!"

She ran over to the sink and filled a glass with water. Then she ran across the kitchen floor, spilling water on it, and slipped and fell on her arse.

It really hurts to laugh when you're having an allergic reaction, trust me.

Hermione quickly got up from the wet floor, gathered herself and strode to me determinedly. Then she grabbed my head, dragged it back and poured all the water down my throat.

I coughed most of it up, but I felt the swelling lessen more and more until I could breathe almost freely again. "Rnks, Mine," I rasped, rubbing my throat.

She smiled at me and breathed deeply. "Yours?"

I felt a vicious coughing fit taking me over and quickly stifled it with my hand. "I meant Mine. No, I meant Heeeermine. No, no, I meant –"

"Ron, relax," she put a silencing finger over my lips. "You'll strain your throat even more."

I whimpered and she took her fingers away. "Looks like Harry and Ginny are heading inside. We should probably mop up the water."

"Or not," I snickered, coughing loudly again. "I think I'd actually like seeing Harry dropping onto his arse."

Hermione gave me a glare, but I noticed her eyes sparkling at me.

So, today's theory is quite simple. The girl I'm absolutely mad about saw me purple. _Purple. _And choking and coughing and being… entirely unsexy.

Bloody oatmeal. Who in their right minds puts _nuts_ in _oatmeal_, anyway?

This is the conclusion I made today: _I'm allergic to nuts._

_Purple_!

-----

_A/N: It's been a long time and I know this is pretty short, but I wanted to give you something. I tried being a little funnier. Hope you like! Please review to make me update faster._


	4. The sucky one

------

**Chapter four: The sucky one**

------

I can't believe this. I can't believe it. It has happened, the thing I have feared since my first year at Hogwarts.

What? Voldemort? No, not him.

Harry is in love with Hermione. And furthermore, she is in love with him as well! As if my life couldn't possibly get worse, why don't we throw in a bit of my _best friend_ and the _love of my bloody life _being madly in love with each other! Just to spice things up, eh!

How I know? I'll tell you how I know!

I was spending a quiet evening in the living room, lazily reading the latest issue of _Flying with the Cannons_ and talking to Ginny.

"But _why_, Ron?"

I sighed heavily and threw the magazine away, after carefully folding the corner of the page. "You know why, Ginny. Now leave me alone."

She looked up at me in outrage from her position on the floor and gasped. "Leave you alone! You can't even tell Hermione that you love her when it's so glaringly obvious that she feels the same way, and you tell me to leave you alone when I'm just trying to help you? You're a verymean person!"

"For the last time, Ginny, she doesn't fancy me!" I snapped. "Why would she when she is such a brilliant person and I'm just… well, me."

"Now you're being stupid," said Ginny and folded her arms across her chest.

"Exactly," I said triumphantly. "Which Hermione never could. So if you'll excuse me, I'll just –"

"She _told_ me, okay!" Ginny blurted out.

I froze. What did she just say?

"She told you?" I whispered, amazed.

"Yes," grumbled my sister.

I shook my head in sudden confusion. "Er, what did she tell you?"

Ginny just gaped at me. "She told me that she's in love with you."

"She did?" I couldn't even hide my grin now.

My sister nodded. "She said that lately she's been finding herself with some peculiar feelings towards her best friend, the one that's always been there for her, even though he might not be so good at school work."

I snorted. "That's Hermione, alright."

Ginny giggled and then became serious, staring at me. "So will you please go talk to her? Please?"

I lowered my head to the carpet, thinking hard. If she really had said those things, then she must love me, right? So I stood up, nodded to Ginny, and started to go upstairs.

Thinking she must be in bed, I went to Ginny's room on the third floor. I stood outside the door, clearing my mind and taking deep breaths, when I heard it. Voices, low and husky, from inside the room.

I frowned and put my ear against the door.

"Okay," said Hermione's voice. "I'm in love with you."

There was a small pause.

"You are?" Harry. It was Harry's voice. My bloody best mate!

"I am," the woman of my dreams answered. Damn it.

"Er, this is really unexpected, I don't know what to say –"

"Then don't say anything," Hermione interrupted Harry. "Just kiss me."

I couldn't take anymore, so I ran away, up to my room and threw myself onto my bed. How could she? And how the hell could he?

I didn't learn anything today except: _love sucks._

Don't we all know it?


	5. When tempers are bad

------

_Chapter 5: When tempers are bad_

------

Oh sweet mother of Merlin. Hermione and Harry. Harry and Hermione.

I could see their wedding in front of me. Me being the best man, standing at the end of an aisle, Harry standing next to me, smirking and with one eyebrow raised in an almost chilling impersonation of Draco Malfoy. I frowned at him, carefully taking a step away from that menacing eyebrow. Then Hermione entered in a stunning white dress with small books on it, and instead of a bouquet of flowers, she had one of feathered quills. She walked straight up to Harry and kissed him. The next thing I knew, I had hit Harry. I was beating up my best mate.

Jumping up from the bed, I started tearing all my Chudley Cannons posters. The small players screamed in agony, which just egged me on further. I tore apart my orange pillow and kicked it into my mirror, cracking it. Then, in complete rage, I grabbed my empty aquarium, opened the window and threw it out on the grass, where it shattered into a million pieces.

_How the hell could they?_ I thought, as I plopped down onto my bed and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

------

When I opened my eyes the next morning and saw the war zone that was my room, I quickly closed them again. After a minute I opened them and whined deeply. I would have to clean this place up before mum saw it. So I got to it, scooping up the feathers and paper bits that was lying all over the floor and chucking it in the bin. The mirror was a problem, though. I would have to have one of the twins mend it.

"Ron! Breakfast!"

I snorted. Like I would even leave my room after what I heard last night!

"I made bacon and eggs!" came my mother's voice again.

My stomach growled. I told it to shut up on the way down to the kitchen.

As I sat down at the table, I instantly regretted my decision. I was sitting next to Harry and opposite Hermione. Inside, I cursed her for looking so damn good in the morning. Her hair was in a ponytail, but that didn't stop a few stray curls to fall around her face. She looked up from her plate and met my eyes. I gasped and swore inwardly and looked away. My gaze fell on Ginny, who was smirking at me and inclining her head at Hermione. I shook my head. She frowned. I looked at Harry, who smiled at me through a mouthful eggs, tried not to hit him, and started eating instead.

It was the quietest breakfast I've ever had to sit through.

I left the table as soon as I had finished eating and went up to my room without so much as a look at anyone else. As I lay down in my bed again, my head hurt with thoughts of Hermione.

Waking with a start, I realized that I had drifted off. I got up and went to use the bathroom, yawning and dragging a hand over my face. After going down the set of stairs that went down from my attic room, I walked past Ginny's room. I groaned when I heard the same voices in there once again. But my curiosity got the better of me, as it always does.

"I think he's suspecting something," I heard Hermione say in a terrified voice.

"So?" came Harry's voice. "What's so wrong about that?"

Where should I begin to count the wrongs?

"Harry! I'm not ready for him to know about this."

Pfft. A little late to be thinking about that, isn't it?

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but I'm almost certain that he already knows anyway."

Damn right I do, mate! Though I wish I didn't.

"Just talk to him, Hermione. It'd be best if you just told him about all this."

I sighed and walked away from the door, feeling suddenly heavy with the realization that Hermione never will be mine. Closing the door to the bathroom and sinking against it down to the floor, I finally let the twinge in my eyes erupt in tears.

------

I left the bathroom and headed towards my room ten minutes later, feeling miserable and alone. Dreading the forthcoming conversation with the woman of my dreams, I plopped down onto my bed, pushed a pillow against my face and screamed into it in total frustration.

A soft knock on the door brought me back to reality.

"Ron?" came Hermione's small voice. "Are you in there?"

I considered not answering, but changed my mind just as I heard her starting to go away.

"Yeah, I'm here," I sighed. "Come on in."

The door opened slowly and Hermione walked in, looking at the floor. I sat up on my bed and looked at her. Her eyes darted to the mirror and she gasped.

"Ron, what happened?"

I shrugged.

"You better have that fixed," she said bossily. "There could be shards of it on the floor and you could walk on them, cutting into your foot and –"

"Hermione, please!" I demanded. "What do you want?"

She froze, looking at me with huge eyes. "I – I just wanted to tell you something."

My face heated and I snapped at her. "Yeah, well, I already know what you're about to say so why don't you save your breath?"

The girl I loved looked at me with incredible hurt in her eyes. "Why didn't you say anything if you knew?"

I stood up and walked to her. "Because I don't bloody _care_, alright? I don't care about what you do or what you feel!"

She shook her head, a tear slid down her cheek slowly. "I can't believe I fell in love with you," she finally whispered before running out of my room and slamming the door behind her.

This is the conclusion I made today: _I have an incredibly bad temper and that tends to put me in bad situations._

------

**A/N: **We're starting to get to the end of this little story, it will probably be two more chapters, I think. Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter.


	6. Better late than never

----------

_Chapter 6: Better late than never_

----------

Bloody hell. Bloody, buggering, pillocking hell.

I was sitting stock-still in exactly the same place I had when Hermione left. One single thought shot through my head over and over again.

_She's in love with me. Hermione's in love with me._

Hermione Granger - bookworm extraordinaire, the most brilliant girl I had ever met, the woman of my (sometimes naughty) dreams - was mind-numbingly in love with moi, Ron Weasley. There was just one minor detail that prevented our happily-ever-after.

I had basically told her that I couldn't care less if she stripped off naked, bathed in chocolate and then started to rub her body against mine.

Next thing I knew, I had risen from my bed, walked to the door and clomped down the stairs. I had to book a therapy session with my dear sister.

----------

"You did not."

"I did."

"You did _not_!" Ginny gasped.

I sighed and drew a hand through my, let's face it, insane hair. "I bloody did, so can we move forward from that now? I really need your help."

My sister stared at me blankly. "What did you do again?"

Groaning, I leaned forwards and grabbed her shoulders. "When Hermione was about to admit her love for me, I told her that I already knew and that I didn't care."

"But… why?"

I took a deep breath. "Because I thought she and Harry were hooking up." Just saying it made my heart hurt even more than it already did.

A couple of seconds went by without a single sign of acknowledgement from Ginny. Then the reaction came, but it wasn't exactly what I had thought it might be.

She started laughing. Right in my face. She snorted and laughed heartily. After a few minutes she pulled herself together and wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Cheers," she chuckled, clapping me on the shoulder. "Haven't had a laugh like that since mum caught Fred bashing the bishop to a photo of Phlegm!"

"It's not fu-" I started whining, but instantly stopped myself as her words registered. "Oh no, he didn't?" I grinned at Ginny in amazement and she nodded, smirking evilly.

"It was magnificent, the way she handled that broomstick, whopping him over the head with it."

I chuckled. I couldn't wait to tell Harry that particular story. Suddenly, I shook himself.

"That's not the point, Gin," I said seriously. "The point is that I need your help. I have to make this up to Hermione."

Ginny sobered, too, looking at me in obvious thought.

"Well…" she said after a while. "I think you just need to talk to her."

I felt the air leave my lungs. _Anything but that. Throw me into a hole filled with angry Blast-Ended Skrewts for all I care, but please don't make me face Hermione after what I said to her_.

"I do?" I whimpered. "Why?"

Ginny frowned. "You _are_ in love with her, aren't you?"

I nodded. Of course I was, how could I not be? Ginny raised an eyebrow and it suddenly hit me. I had to talk to Hermione.

"You're right," I said, looking at my baby sister in awe.

I really underestimate Ginny's intelligence far too much.

----------

Half an hour later, I had stood outside Hermione's door for about… twenty-five minutes. I just stood there, staring at the worn wood of the door.

It never came to me that I might knock. Because if I did, she might answer. That was a terrifying thought. I tried to think of how she would react if I excused my earlier behaviour - pfft, begged her for forgiveness, more like - and what she would say.

Hopefully, she would jump into my arms and kiss me like there's no tomorrow. I would kiss her back, splaying my hands across her back. And then, just maybe, she would make some little noise in her throat as I steered us towards the bed, crashing down onto it and -

Whoa. Better get my mind out of the gutter, right now.

I shook my head, hoping to clear it, and in the process accidentally slammed a hand against the door. I instantly froze as I heard someone shift inside the room.

"Yes?" came a thick voice. She had been crying.

"Er," I said, not knowing how to begin.

I didn't have time to stutter anything else before she cracked the door open and glared at me, all red and puffy. She had never been more beautiful.

"What do you want, Ronald?" she said, her voice low.

Standing there, I suddenly realised that I had no idea what I was going to say. 'I love you'? 'I'm sorry'? 'Marry me'?

"I…" I got out, and I felt like clapping myself on the back. Not only was it a syllable, it was indeed a word!

Hermione shifted her feet and looked at the wall behind me.

"I thought you fancied Harry," came crashing out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Her eyes snapped onto me and widened, and I clapped my hands over my mouth.

"What?" she asked, looking thoroughly confused. "Why?"

"B-because I heard you," I stuttered, "and I… I thought…"

Hermione sighed deeply, interrupting my insane ramble. "I honestly don't know what gave you the idea that I fancy Harry, since he is like a brother to me."

"Yeah, kinda figured that out by now," I muttered under my breath, and said in a louder voice. "I'm really sorry, Hermione. I got it all wrong."

"Yes, well," she said, seeming suddenly shy. "Are we friends again?"

My heart dropped. She only wanted us to be friends? "But…" I said, looking at the floor. "You said…"

Hermione shifted again. "Yes, but clearly -"

"Clearly what?" My eyes snapped up to meet hers.

She looked a bit surprised, both at me interrupting her and me meeting her eyes. "Clearly I should not have mentioned it. I am really sorry, and I will try to be your friend and stop these ridiculous _feelings_ that I cannot seem to shake off even when I am trying to read a good book and -"

She was so incredibly adorable and gorgeous that I only had one choice if I wanted to shut her up sometime that day.

I bent down and pressed my lips against hers.

It was awkward and new and absolutely amazing. After a few seconds contact I realized I should probably make sure that she wasn't about to murder me for taking such liberties.

I slowly pulled back and our mouths disconnected with a distinct sloppy sound.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll go if you want me to -"

"Shut up," she said, her eyes glassy. "Shut up and do that again."

Then she tugged on the front of my shirt, pulling my head down so that she could reach my lips once more.

The next twenty minutes were quite wonderful.

What I learned today: _snogging is even better than Quidditch, especially if it's with Hermione Granger._

----------

**A/N: Yessss, I updated! Go me! There will probably be an epilogue (I _really_ want to see what the twins have to say about this!) and then this baby is wrapped and done. Review, please!**


	7. The er epilogue

-----------

**Chapter 7: The… uh, epilogue.**

----------

Oh, yes. You saw it coming, didn't you?

This is the epilogue of the story of how I somehow tricked Hermione into loving me. The truth is; I, myself, to this day do not know why she chose me. Perhaps she didn't. Perhaps she lost a bet.

But who would she enter a bet with? Well, McGonagall for one… And probably Pince, the insane old bat of librarian…

Sorry. Sorry, I kind of lost myself there, didn't I?

The point is: Hermione loves me.

Now, if only there was a way to get Fred and George kidnapped or turned mute or something, then my life would truly be perfect.

----------

"Oh. My. Dragon hide. Boxers."

Hermione and I quickly pulled away from each other, she was blushing and my ears could probably be mistaken for stop lights. That's right. I could create traffic accidents just by snogging my girl by the road.

"Fred," George said, not taking his eyes off us. "Fred," he repeated when his brother didn't answer. He turned to look at him.

Fred was leaning against the bureau in my room, his eyes were wide like galleons and he was taking deep breaths and clutching at his chest. "He -" he forced out. " He… He did… it… George…" he gestured blindly for his partner in crime.

"Yes, twin?" George said with a worried expression, pulling at Fred's arm and drawing him to stand on his own feet.

"Ron confessed his fancy to Hermione," he panted. "Now I've seen everything, you might as well kill me."

"With pleasure," I growled darkly. Hermione smacked me in the arm.

"Yes, yes," she sighed. "Ron is my boyfriend, can't we just act maturely about this -"

"I'm your boyfriend?" I gasped, shining up instantly.

Hermione smiled at me in apparent pity and patted my head. "Of course you are, dear. We snogged and snogged and now we're telling your family. That plus 'I love you's' equals a relationship."

"We're not telling my family, we're telling the two monsters who made my childhood a living hell!"

"Ron, don't swear!" Hermione berated at the same time that Fred said indignantly, "Monsters? We were just preparing you for the suffering you would face in the real world some day!"

I didn't know who to stare at. I settled for George, but when he grinned at me and did a very dirty gesture with his arms and hips synchronized, I groaned and turned around to look at the wall.

Hmm. I had never really noticed just how orange my room really was.

"Ronald, dear," said Fred in a perfect impersonation of our mother, "don't wear out the wallpaper, please."

"Bugger off," I muttered. Hermione gasped, "Ron!" and I glanced at her sheepishly.

"Wait a minute…" said George slowly. "Does mum know? Or dad? Or Ginny? Or _Harry_?"

My eyes widened. I didn't even want to think about the way they'd find out if the twins would tell them. I had to put a definite stop to it! "Er, Ginny probably knows."

Hermione, who apparently had thought the same thing that I had, turned to stare at me in awe of my stupidity. "_Probably_?" she hissed. "That's it, we'll die."

"Erm… She's definitely suspecting something, anyway!" I desperately tried, but I could not miss the look of glee my _dear_ brothers were sharing.

"I think mum is in the kitchen," Fred mumbled to George. "Harry's out flying and Ginny's probably in her room."

George nodded. "I'll take mum and Ginny, you go for Harry. Use my broom, yours is a little slower."

"Thanks, mate."

And they were off, leaving me to panic and Hermione to sigh and impatiently tap her foot.

----------

We descended the stairs roughly thirty minutes later, after some heavy snogging. (I managed to get her in the mood by telling her that she was sexy when she read aloud from _Hogwarts, A Bloody History_. I am a genius.)

Tapping silently, we walked through the - thank Merlin - empty kitchen and headed for the quiet living room. Apparently the twins hadn't found mum and had gone straight for Ginny or Harry together. Marvellous.

We sat down on the tatty couch, and I grabbed her hand awkwardly.

It was quiet for a couple of minutes, during which Hermione kept tensing and moving. Finally, I gave up.

"What is it?" I sighed. Suddenly I got a bit nervous. What if she had changed her mind? 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you were Viktor Krum! You have to forgive me.' Bloody Vicky.

"It's just…" she said, quietening abruptly. Then she turned to me and folded her arms over her chest, looking slightly unnerved. "Did you really think I was in love with Harry?"

I stared at her. Was she still on about that? "Er… yeah."

Hermione turned away, frowning deeply. I carefully put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. Wow, I learned this stuff fast.

"I only thought that because I heard you… say it… to him…" It dawned on me that she _had_ in fact told Harry that she was in love with him. "Bugger, I had forgotten about that."

"Don't swear," said Hermione automatically and continued without missing a beat. "When did you hear my say that?"

My anger flared, she had to remember telling a bloke she loved him! What was to say she wouldn't forget in the morning that she told me today? "You were in your room and you told Harry you loved him! I heard you through the door."

Hermione stared at me in shock. "Ron, we were practicing."

"Yeah, it's alright, I know that he's much more wealthy and handsome and brave, and if you need some snogging practice with me, I - well how could I say no, and -"

"Ron!" Hermione yelled, waving a hand in front of my eyes to stop my rambling. "I was practicing what to say to _you_."

"Oh?" I said, then understanding dawned on me. "Oooh. I get it now."

"Congratulations," muttered Hermione under her breath, probably thinking I wouldn't hear her.

I just grinned at her and leant forward, Hermione sighed with a sweet smile and touched her lips to mine. My stomach fluttered just as much, if not more than it had the first time we kissed. It was bloody buggering perfect.

"OH MY GOODNESS!"

"Why do people keep doing that?" I growled as Hermione and I shot away from each other, both landing on separate ends of the couch.

"Oh my!" it was my mother. The thing that Molly Weasley had wished for and dreamed of the last four or five years had finally come true. Her youngest son was kissing Hermione Granger. I could see the images spinning through her mind. Engagement, wedding, children, grandchildren, you name it - she saw it.

"Mum?" I said gently when she had stood stock still with her hands covering her mouth for almost five minutes. Standing up, I walked up to her and shook her carefully. "Mum?"

Then I saw it. The sign of life. My mother started crying. The next thing I knew I was enveloped in one of her fiercest embraces yet. My ribs are still a bit sore from the force of it. I sighed as she sobbed and clung to me and said sentences not even a drunk would understand, like, "Merlin, so big, lots of children, happiness," and at one point I think I actually heard her say the word "backyard wedding."

"Well, seems like mum's heard the news of the happy couple," said a voice I knew very well. Fred. Or George. I couldn't really tell from the position I currently was in.

"Muuuum," I groaned. "Let me go."

"Oh yes, of course!" my mother gasped. "Hermione! Where is my lovely daughter-to-be?"

Hermione stepped forward, looking both happy and unbelievably afraid as my dear gentle mother crushed Hermione to her, sobbing freely once again as Hermione clapped her back uncertainly.

I looked around, seeing Ginny giving me a thumbs-up, my dad looking a bit teary-eyed himself as he clapped me on the shoulder and congratulated me, and then there was Harry. My best mate. Who stood there grinning impishly at me as if Christmas had arrived early.

"What's so bloody funny?" I asked, not being able to contain a smile myself.

"Nothing," he said innocently. "I'm just happy for you."

"Cheers," I said, frowning slightly when he continued to grin at me in amusement. "What the bloody hell is so damn funny?"

"Oh, I'm just thinking about all the things Hermione will blackmail you with when you refuse to do your homework in the future," he grasped my shoulder, and grinned even wider. "Good luck, mate. See you again when we graduate seventh year. If you're still alive by then, obviously."

Just when I had decided on hitting him, Hermione came up next to me and grasped my hand. "Alright, Harry?" she said, smiling at him.

"Never been better," Harry grinned at her. "I'm really happy for you, Hermione."

"Yes, well," Hermione said, glancing at me, "so am I."

Then she kissed me. In front of Harry. And my parents and my little sister and - worst of all - the bloody twins. They immediately started teasing, but Hermione and I ignored them to head up to my room and enjoy some quality snogging.

The last thing I saw as we left the room was George gasping for air and once again clutching at his chest.

"Fred… he… he didn't… his ears didn't… no red..."

"I know," said Fred, pulling his twin to his feet for the second time that day. "We might just make a man of him yet."

Damn straight.

This is what I learned today: …

Aw, bugger it. I learned something and it helped me with something.

----------

**The End**

----------

_A/N: That's it, folks. It's over and done with. Please review and tell me what you thought about the ending of this little story._

_I would like to thank all the people that has read and reviewed this story faithfully, even though my updating haven't always been the best. Cheers, I love you._


End file.
